Teacher's Pet

Nathan Lane, with his notorious ear-splitting voice, leads a cast of characters with obnoxious voices in this superfluous Disney animated mess. Lane voices Spot, a blue, pinto bean-shaped pooch who dreams of following in Pinocchio’s footsteps of becoming a boy. However, instead of relying on a fairy to grant his wish, the desperate dog seeks the aid of an ax-slinging mad scientist who has mutant swamp creatures as sidekicks. This asinine plan backfires, and the canine becomes a middle-aged man—with an Elvis hairdo and a hairy chest—who harshly severs the friendship of his master and becomes the love interest of his master’s mother. This embarrassing adaptation of a cartoon series obviously doesn’t understand its target audience.