The Chronicles of Riddick

In this sequel to Pitch Black, a powerful army invades the Muslim world of New Mecca, killing women and children, destroying homes and claiming to be "liberators." Imam Abu al-Walid (Keith David) then summons super-criminal Riddick (Vin Diesel) to defeat the invading aliens, but Riddick doesn’t want to, and so he goes off into some other film that takes place on a prison planet. This other movie drags on and on and is roughly the equivalent of two Seconals and a Xanax. Finally, things get back to New Mecca, but by then, it’s too late, as the audience has no doubt entered REM sleep and will be unavailable until the credits roll. Chronicles of Riddick has all the visual appeal and emotional depth of a 19-year-old supermodel, and there’s some cute political commentary, but it’s hardly worth sitting through. If you must go see it, I recommend that you bring a book and a small flashlight.