The Musketeer

On some distant cloud in French Heaven, Alexandre Dumas is crying. Easily one of the most excruciating movies of this awful, awful year, The Musketeer is soul-deadeningly bad, exactly as terrible as its high-concept premise?Hong Kong-style fight scenes intermixed with the standard musketeer story?could possibly be. Not only saddled with hammy overacting, hollow characters and some of the worst cringe-inducing puns this side of a Schwarzenegger flick, the fight scenes?the acrobatic, impressively-choreographed fight scenes, the film's whole raison d'être?are shot so ineptly as to be unwatchable. Which makes The Musketeer not just a bad movie, but a deeply, achingly sad bad movie. Stay away!