The Village

The problem with this film is not that the surprise twists and endings are easily guessed. The problem is that the writing, by director M. Night Shyamalan, and the stilted way his characters speak are wholly irritating. Shyamalan won me over with his last film (Signs), but this movie—about a small village being terrorized by creatures in the woods—is a terrible bore. Never you mind what message Shyamalan is trying to convey with this one, because the speech patterns of the folks on screen will inspire the tearing off of one’s ears. Now, do you see the pretentious way I wrote that, " … the tearing off of one’s ears." I could’ve just said you’ll want to rip your ears off, but I chose to get all fancy on you. That’s the way Shyamalan has written his whole goddamn film! "Take thee to thy shed where none shall come and seek"; "Beware the ones that we cannot speak of." It’s like Shyamalan got stoned, read Pilgrim’s Progress and chased it with a Little House on the Prairie marathon. A tedious, hellish film that nevertheless has a few moments that allow you to remember that Shyamalan is capable of greatness. Just not with this film.