Timeline

It’s like there’s some machine in Hollywood that allows you to just turn a crank and spit out a film. How else to explain the incredibly stale Timeline>, which is basically two hours of expository dialogue and a couple of fight scenes? In a charmingly circular plot twist, group of archaeologists must go back to the 15th century to rescue an archaeologist who went back to the 15th century. While there, they discover life, love and the need to explain everything that’s happening, just in case the audience is composed of blind people who are incapable of understanding basic narrative. On the plus side, this film actually contains the line, "It’s good! They’re French!" Starring the animatronic robot formerly known as Paul Walker and some sadly wasted performances by the great Billy Connolly and the up-and-coming Gerard Butler.