Under the Tuscan Sun

The gorgeous Italian countryside is a stunning sight to see, and so is Diane Lane, for that matter. Plus, the recent Oscar winner certainly brings a captivating presence to her roles. But are these three factors enough to overlook the abundance of superfluous subplots and save this excessively trite, never-ending adaptation of Frances Mayes’ memoir? Well, actually yes, they are. Lane stars as a recently divorced woman who impulsively buys her own Xanadu during an eccentric gay tour in Tuscany because a pigeon pooped on her shoulder. Once an Italian hunk (Raoul Bova) with Pierce Brosnan sex appeal enters the scene, she’s glad that she followed the fortune of the fowl’s feces. That is, until he cheats on her, horny teens run amuck, incompetent Polish architects exaggerate their performances and writer/director Audrey Wells slowly runs the tired gamut of love’s spectrum, leading to the conclusion that a pigeon’s poop premonition isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.